|The prostate gland is about the size of a chestnut and can be found near the root of the penis (the place inside your body where the penis starts) and just below the bladder. The prostate gland produces part of the ejaculatory fluid (also called seminal fluid). It sometimes gets called the male g-spot (unfortunately it has lately been referred to as the “P” spot). Because of medical conditions or medications some men have enlarged prostates that can cause pain or discomfort. But for many men it is a wonderful sex organ that provides deep sexual pleasure.
Here’s how to find and stimulate this wonderfully mysterious joy button…
WASH UP and RELAX
Many men have a few issues with cleanliness when it comes to exploring anal play. Having a nice warm bath or hot show may help alleviate anxiety about this. Also the bath or shower is a great place to explore. Because feces only travel through the rectum on the way out of the body, you won’t find very much there. If you are concerned about having a bowel movement during play, make sure you go to the bathroom before you begin. You can also use an enema or an anal douche prior to exploration!
TRIM YOUR NAILS and SMOOTH OUT THE ROUGH EDGES
The lining of the anus is very sensitive and can be torn easily. If you're playing with toys, make sure there are no sharp edges (sometimes anal beads have rough edges which can be smoothed out with a nail file). Consider using latex gloves. They are a great way to deal with hang nails and small cuts on your hands, plus if you have any concerns about cleanliness they provide a good barrier between you and all your bodily fluids.
FIND a GOOD ANAL LUBRICANT
Lubes are a matter of personal choice. While some prefer a slick, Silicone-Based Lubricant for long lasting lubrication, others prefer either a specifically Anal Formula Lubricant or Desensitizing Lubricant to be certain that it doesn’t hurt. Just remember, if you’re going too fast, the tenderness will tell you to go slower. If it doesn’t hurt at all, you may be hurting yourself without knowing it.
TURN YOURSELF ON
Because the prostate swells when aroused, it’s easier to locate when you’re hot and bothered so watch an adult movie, masturbate, fantasize... do whatever gets you in the mood.
FIND a COMFORTABLE POSITION
If you are exploring on your own find a position you are most comfortable in where you have access to your bum. Try lying on your side, or squatting. Sitting in a comfy chair might work, or lie on your back with your legs in the air. You need a position you’ll be comfortable in for a while. Using pillows is always a good way to get comfortable.
START ON THE OUTSIDE
Massage your anus and perineum. You never want to rush the penetration part of anal play. Start with an external massage. The perineum is located between the testicles and above the anus and most men find that massaging the perineum is very relaxing and pleasurable – primarily due to the fact that you’re still massaging the tissues around the prostate.
Massage your anus using a rhythmic, circular motion. You can then gently push on the anus as if you're ringing a doorbell, without forcing your finger inside. This will help to relax the anal sphincter muscle.
GO ON IN
When you are ready to insert a finger in the anus, try to tune into your breath. Breathe deeply. The best way to insert a finger in the anus is to start with the pad of your finger first (not the tip). Gently put the pad of one finger up to the opening of the anus, and as you exhale, push out (as if you’re trying to go to the bathroom) while you insert a well-lubed finger. Once inside, rest a moment while you get used to the sensation of having something in your anus.
FIND YOUR PROSTATE
You should be able to feel your prostate about two inches in and toward your belly. It is often a walnut-shaped bump. Some men will know when they are touching it, others won’t notice much at all. It can be easier to have someone else find it for you (if you happen to have someone handy!).
EXPERIMENT with DIFFERENT KINDS of TOUCH
Once you’ve found the prostate you can experiment with what feels good. You’ll find it much easier and more comfortable to use a lubricant with your fingers or toys. Some men like the feeling of consistent pressure or pressing on the prostate, others will get off on vibration, or an on-off kind of pressure. You can also experiment by squeezing your PC muscle (that muscle that controls your rectum and anus) and see how that changes the feeling of prostate stimulation.
TRY PLAYING with TOYS
Anal Sex Toys and Prostate Massagers can be a great way to explore what prostate stimulation can feel like for you. Toys that have a slight curve are often designed for prostate stimulation. Some toys will vibrate, which is a completely different kind of sensation that some guys like and others don’t. If you’re going to try a vibrator, be sure to get one with variable speed, so you can start slow if you want to.
TRY BUTT PLUGS
Butt plugs are anal toys designed to be inserted in the anus and stay in place. Some guys will put in a butt plug and then have other kinds of sex play (either masturbation or play with partners). Many say that having a butt plug in (which provides a mild but constant prostate stimulation) really changes the way that their orgasms feel.
• Any kind of anal penetration can be intense at first. Remember to breathe deeply as you play. Try to coordinate the timing of your breathing with the building orgasm.
• Take your time. Don’t rush it, and if you’re feeling uncomfortable take a break, or end the exploration for the time being.